


Waiting for you

by Joe007



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: F/M, Letters, Love Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27168808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe007/pseuds/Joe007
Summary: In which Makoto has to move away, so Ren devises a way in which to keep Makoto from spiraling down an anxiety well.They write to each other.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Kudos: 35
Collections: ShuMako Mini Bang





	Waiting for you

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what I've been working on all summer. It's my longest piece yet, I think it's longer than all my others combined somehow. I hope you enjoy
> 
> Also please please please visit https://twitter.com/soarerv1/status/1319775612630749184?s=19  
> For making art for this piece at the last minute, this and all her other work is fantastic

Bzzzz

…

Bzzzz

....

....

Bzzzz

...

Makoto opened her eyes from a peaceful dream. Annoyed, as she’d been woken up by something that wasn't her alarm.

She looked over at the other side of the bed. There, lay Ren Amamiya, her boyfriend of well over a year now. Still dazed from deep sleep, it took her a few moments to take in her surroundings, and look at her phone, which was still occasionally buzzing.

_ 6.56 PM 03/09/18 _

_ Rain _

_ 2 new messages from: _

_ Sae _

_ PT _

_ So that was what the noise was, that's what I get for not muting the chat. _

Now she listened, she could indeed hear light rain hitting their apartment window. The room was still mostly black, and there wasn’t much city life noise outside either. Just the gentle patter of rain and the occasional car going through a puddle.

_ Yeah, she could have a few more minutes of this.  _ She thought.

The message from Sae was probably about an important meeting she had today. The phantom thief chat was probably general talk about everyone's daily life or a new meme they'd discovered that Makoto wouldn't get.

As she heard Ren turn over in her sleep, her mind drifted back to the warmth of her bed, she didn't have to be up for a couple more hours, and she had to savour these moments with Ren, having been away for so long. 

As she snuggled up to Ren, she drearily thought about her current situation.Ren was back, she hadn't seen him in nearly a year, bar one visit. But now he was here for good. He’d got into the same University that she was in, after they'd both aced their final year exams when they’d both taken them. They’d moved in together to save on money, as well as the fact that it made both of them extremely happy. Her friends were all talking to each other constantly, making do with the distances between them all. Her sister was coping well now her business had settled, to the point where she constantly made sure Makoto was taking care of herself. 

She quickly browsed through the chats, but with nothing really new, she put her phone down.

Ren suddenly put his arm around her and pulled her into a hug.

“Mmmm dont go yet” He sleepily said

She giggled and said “I’m not going anywhere.” 

But eventually the threat of being late was enough to get them out of bed, and as each went through their own morning routine, they’d remind each other about important jobs they’d have throughout the day.

“You have that Advanced studies opportunity meeting at 3 right?” Ren shouted from within a shirt.

“3.15” She called back from the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth.

“And remember to call Sae when you’re done.” He said, head finally poking out the top.

“Yes! And you’re grabbing the shopping when you’re done. List is by the door.”

“Course.” He moved to the kitchen. “Food to go?”

Being only a month into university, Ren was still adjusting to the new way of life. Not being up and out first thing every morning was a strange feeling, so on the days he did have a lie in, he’d still stick to the same schedule, and find another way to fill his time. His favourite way to do that was to help Makoto for her day.

And so with a cooked lunch and her books packed in her bag, Makoto was greeted at the door by a smiling Ren.

“Done and done.” He smirked

With a laugh, they kissed, she said “See you tonight.” And off she went.

And that was how their mornings went.

  
  
  


Ren entered the apartment and to his surprise, found the lights on. As he dragged the shopping into the kitchen area, he poked his head around the corner to see Makoto, already settled and studying on the couch. 

“Hey, you’re back early?” He said

“Yeah.” She answered

“How’d the meeting go? I thought it being such an important meeting you’d be there longer.”

“Today was just a discussion. I’ll look at the options, do more research and email him in the upcoming days.”

“Oh ok, I can have a look at them in a sec once i've put this away.”

“I’ll help.”

“Nope, you stay there, it won't take long.”

As he packed away, his mind ran back and forth over the events of the day so he could discuss the important stuff with Makoto. He came back into the room to find her unmoved from the sea of paper laid out in front of her. He was briefly reminded of the first time he met her, way back in their old school library. Smiling, he sat back down.

“They were out of that wine we like, but they had everything else. So what were your options like?”

“Honestly they all seemed the same, I don’t really want to talk about it, how was your day?”

“Oh” He was surprised, but didn't press it. “Well we actually covered something interesting in our lectures today. We’ve finally moved on from post war political fallout....”

  
  


As he talked, Makoto became more and more anxious, whether he noticed or not, she wasn't sure. She had to say something, she just didnt know how.

“...And the line at the store was bigger than usual considering it was early evening but I di-”

“Ren, I got an offer today that we need to talk about.”

He looked at her, slightly confused.

“Go on.”

She grabbed one of the letters from the table and handed it to him. “Read it for yourself.”

As his eyes went down the letter, she watched his expression go from worry, to confusion, to happiness. “Makoto” He slowly said as he continued “This seems amazing! This is exactly what you wanted!”

She smiled, and tried to make the smile reach her eyes. “From what my professor said it’s one of the most prestigious criminal law firms in the country, he said it's exactly what I need for my future goals too.”

“Then what's wrong?” He had noticed after all, she never was a good liar. So she took a deep breath, and:

“It’s not in Tokyo.”

And suddenly it all made sense to him.

As she talked about how they’d had several past students go onto to high profile jobs within the police and law, and how it was an honour to even imagine applying, let alone get an offer for such outstanding grades, Makoto once again watched his face, which had gone through so many different emotions in the last few minutes she was worried his muscles were getting a workout.

He stopped her mid sentence. “How long would it be for?”

She hesitated, “6 months, from the end of May”

“And its the best one?”

“Well best doesn’t include how that’ll affect us!”

“But its still the best?”

“...Yes.”

He grabbed her hand in both of his “Then do it, absolutely do it.”

“Ren…” She looked into his eyes. “We barely even got a month together after we waited so long.”

“Hey, we already waited a year. What's half of another.”

But she knew inside this was affecting him,  _ It had to be, it was affecting her.  _ She thought.

Nearly 2 years into this relationship, and they had been together for only half a year, and here she was, breaking them apart for the 3rd time.

_ What if he starts resenting me for splitting us up, what if he stops talking to me, what if he meets someon- _

"Makoto"

She jumped. She had been so lost in thought, she hadn't noticed he'd been talking to her.

"Listen Makoto, I can see where your thoughts are heading," He didn't smile, and she knew he was being serious. "You are the brightest person I know, but your mind is your own enemy at times."

He paused to allow her to process his words, so she would notice he was trying to calm her worry.

"More time apart will not change anything, as a year apart didn't. If anything, we couldn't wait to see each other more by the end."

But despite everything he had said, her doubts had not disappeared. In fact as he stood up to walk into the kitchen, the immediately resurfaced.

"Are you ok?" He asked

"Yes" she lied.

  
  
  
  


The next week, Ren noticed something odd. Makoto had been silent during dinner. But had perked up again afterwards. He had at first hoped he hadn’t done something wrong, but her sudden mood shift was more worrying than that. As the night went on, and her mood during dinner wasn't repeated, he decided to ignore it, fearing bringing it up would cause it to be repeated. 

He just hoped he wasn’t being foolish.

  
  
  


A few days later, and he knew that that had been a mistake. Makoto had woken up for classes, got dressed, eaten, and left without saying a single word to him. Alarm bells started going off in his head.

He needed to sort this out.

All through his lessons he thought of a speech he could give to her, about how he was there for anything she needed him for, and that whatever she was going through could be solved by talking it out. They had gotten through worse than a few months apart, hell they’d both nearly been killed on multiple occasions, this was trivial.

Standing by the door later on, he was not as confidant.

Makoto walked in later than usual, he hoped she wasn’t avoiding him. But his mind was already on that path.

As she looked at him, standing there waiting for him. His words that he had been planning all day, failed to come out.

Makoto did not look pleased. “What are you doing.”

He swallowed and gathered his courage.

“We need to talk about this morning.”

Her look immediately worsened. “There’s nothing to talk about Ren, I didn’t say goodbye, big deal.”

“It’s more than that though, isn’t it?”

“No, and I’m done talking about it.” and she tried to move into the kitchen

But Ren stood his ground. “No, we’re talking about this now before it gets worse. Makoto, what is bothering you?”

“Ren I’m not pulling you into my problems just because I was in a mood.”

“No this is my problem and it isn’t a mood, I know what your heads like, you take an idea and run with it, whether it's good or bad, you have a bad idea stuck in there, and I know-”

But Makoto stopped him, turning fully to face him, she lost her temper.

“Well, if you know so much about me, maybe start by telling me how to stop destroying our relationship!” She shouted at him.

_ Oh fuck _ Ren thought

“Mako if this is about you leaving there’s noth-” But she stopped him once again.

“Don’t you dare say there's nothing to worry about!”

“I wasn’t-”

“Do you know what I’m feeling right now.”

“Makoto-”

“Do you know how-”

But now Ren had had enough.

“Makoto stop!” And he hugged her. 

And it did stop her. For a minute or so, they just quietly stood there, crying into the others shoulder, not letting the other see.

Ren started first “This isn’t healthy for you, you need to talk to me about these things before they become worse. Not shout at me when it’s all boiling over.”

He leaned back, wiping away a tear from her face, and only continued when she looked back at him. “Listen to me Makoto, you are not hurting this relationship by going away. But you will if you don’t talk about your problems to me. It’s how we’ve solved every problem before now together, and together is how we’ll continue.”

But his words hadn’t reached Makoto. All that she could think was that she had made things worse. The worry that had only been a sliver before, had now been fully realised.

After they hugged once more, she said. “I need an early night.” Kissed him on the cheek, and went into the bedroom.

Ren stood in the same place for quite a while after that.

_ Fuck _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Ren carried her suitcase to the train. That month had gone by so quickly, he barely had time to savour it. Yet here he was, once again saying bye to Makoto. Not 2 months after moving into an apartment together. But rent was the least of his worries.

Despite the talks, despite the reassurances, despite all their friends encouraging her to do it, he knew he had not calmed her nerves. And on the eve of her leaving, she had not spoken much to him at all.

He knew he needed to do something, but he had drawn a blank on what. Even a select few friends hadn't put up much help.

_ Ren: ...she's barely talked to me all evening _

_ Ren: I'm at a loss guys, what do I do _

_ Ann: Did you say what we suggested yesterday? _

_ Ren: Word for word, I got more of a response from the mirror I used to practice _

_ Har: But keep trying, not communicating is always the first problem couples face. Even one sided talks will help. _

_ Ann: Me and Shiho couldn't get anything. _

_ Ann: Did Old man Toro get back to you? _

_ Ren: He said he was good for grand speeches, not couples therapy. And to call him back when it was proposal time. _

_ Hif: Why is Ryuji not in this chat? _

_ Ann: You think Ryuji is the one who can express their feelings in this relationship??? _

_ Ann: Nearly strangled the damn man getting him to admit he liked me. _

_ Hif: True _

_ Hif: I thought another guy might help Ren though. _

_ Hif: I don't know what to say though, apart from agreeing with Haru, not speaking finally ended it in my last relationship. _

_ Ren: Not helping _

_ Hif: But, there was a lot of problems between us before that happened, which you don't have, so I'm confident you'll both overcome this. _

_ Ann: Yeah, think how much we have all done together, like a little distance can stop us. _

_ Ann: I don't really have anything more to add. _

_ Har: Trust your guts Ren, you know more about this relationship then we do. _

…

His guts were currently doing somersaults though.

_ What should I say? _

_ What should I do? _

He genuinely had no idea.

As they reached the platform, he knew he had to bring something big before she got on. His mind raced over everything that happened over the last 2 months to try for something.

_ Shibuya subway pick up with her and Sae, before they moved in together _

_ Moving in day itself _

They walked alongside the train.

_ Their first night _

_ Enrolling at university _

_ Studying like old times _

_ Meeting with Ann and Ryuji at Leblanc _

They found her carriage.

_ Sojiro treating them like family for a meal. _

_ Helping Futaba with school _

_ Laying in bed discussing school and work _

_ The routine they'd formed together _

_ The letter confirming she'd been accepted. _

_... _

_ The letter… _

And as Makoto took her suitcase from him, it all clicked into place at the last possible second.

"I'm going to write to you." He blurted out

"What?" She said, looking confused

He found his voice, neither had spoken much on the way.

"I've been thinking a lot on how this is affecting you, but I've not had an answer on what to do about it. So I thought, give you something that reminds you how strong we are as a couple. But I also need it to help distract you when you're feeling down." Despite having come up with this on the spot, he found the words coming to him, and he was rushing to get this all out before she left.

He went on. "So, I thought I could write a love letter to you while you're there, and to distract you from yourself, you could write one back." As he stared at her face, trying to weigh up the blank emotion. Doubt was started to replace the slimmer of hope he'd just felt. "But if you're not comfortable with it we do-"

He was stopped by her pulling him in to kiss him. Relief flooding his veins, he eventually pulled back to see her smiling.

"Ren, that sounds perfect. I can't wait"

He nearly cried, there and then.

"I love you." Was all he could say

"I love you too, I'll call you on the train."

As he watched her pull away, leaving Tokyo, her friends, family, and him behind, the mix of extreme emotions circling his brain became too much.

He put his face in his hands, and cried.

  
  
  
  
  


As she watched Tokyo disappear out the window, Makoto reflected on their last conversation. Despite how she’d been feeling, what Ren had said was having an effect on her. Not the specific idea in particular, but how Ren had presented it. He had been trying for the past month to cheer her up, and all she could do was mope. Here she was, talking about how distance would ruin their relationship, and she'd almost destroyed it before she’d even left.  _ God what have I been doing! I have to apologize immediately. _

After a quick call with Ren; where he had emphasised that she had not damaged their relationship, and was just happy to be talking again, she started to think about where she would start with the letter. The possibilities of how to surprise Ren entered her mind. Maybe she could write about her hopes for the two of them, or the little things about the two of them being a couple she loved, or how proud he made her feel of their relationship. 

She started to smile, maybe this was a fun idea after all. She had to admit, Ren was pretty good at answering her problems.

_ God I’m lucky to have him. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A few days later

Makoto sat down for her first lecture, choosing to sit near the front of the nearly empty hall. Having no-one to ask about where to go, she’d arrived 20 minutes early, fighting her way through students and uniformed officers, the campus housing both. Taking her notes out of her bag, her anxieties were building once again, hoping she wasn’t out of her depths. 

_ It’s ok, we can do this, let's start off by… getting to know your classmates. _

She turned around to the only other people in the room, a slightly older man who looked far too tired to be at a 9am lecture, and a girl more her age a few rows behind.

“Hi, I’m Makoto.”

The man grunted, and the girl offered a weak smile, but neither said anything more.

Completely disheartened, Makoto turned back round.

_ Ok… It’s ok. I was a bit formal, but maybe they just don’t want to make attachments to people they’re only going to see for 6 months. Don’t take it personally, the others might be more welcoming. _

As the few other students arrived over the next 30 minutes, none of them said anything to Makoto, or even acknowledged anyone else's existence, this did not improve her worries.

10 minutes after the planned start, a uniformed officer walked in. He set down his laptop, plugged it in, and looked up at the room.

“Morning all, I am Sergeant Inoue, and I’ll be your primary instructor for the next six months, along with Officer Mori, who you’ll meet later.” He said.

As he plugged in his laptop and the screen lit up, he stood up straight. Makoto noticed that despite the picture perfect uniform and textbook stance, the man's demeanor suggested he did not want to be here.

“As you all know. You’ve been pulled from your universities for 6 months for being the brightest of your bunch, in the hopes that we can teach you what it takes to be future leaders of our police forces around the country. In my opinion, 6 months is far to short for that, and this course is useless when we could be getting you out of university and onto the streets of Japan for the real lesson. But I’ll try not to pretend this is all a waste of time if you do as well.”

As some of the other students laughed, Makoto went into panic mode.

_ A waste of time! This is 6 months of my course I’m missing for this! I had to get special permission and everything! _

As Sergeant Inoue moved on to show the obligatory aims and plans of the course, Makoto’s mind kept wandering as she noted down the key dates.

_ Useless…  _

_ God how I hate that word. _

  
  
  
  


“So how was your first day Mako?”

They had already fallen back into old habits. This was their nightly call while they worked, but this time Makoto was more adjusting to her new room than working.

“Well, I’m hoping it’s not indicative of how my time’s going to be spent here. It was not a fun introduction.”

“What?! But you said it looked wonderful?”

“Yes Ren, but the sights of the area don’t make up for how little I got done.” She snapped

“Hey it’s your first day, maybe you just-” He started, but she interrupted him.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” And that was that. “How’s your studies going.”

“About as well as normal, I found a group to study with in my own class. But it just felt wrong, they didn't even seem to get along with each other too well”

“At least you had a group, I’m back to studying in my room like the last 3 years just never happened.” Ren could hear the anger in her voice.

“Mako-” He started.

“How am I going to do this Ren? Before this I’ve always had someone I can go to to lean on. But here I am miles away from everyone, miles away from you.”

“Makoto. I know it's hard, but it's just a few months, I promise you can make it through that, but you do have to work with me here.”

“What do you mean?”

“For one, I’m on your side, understand I’m always trying to help you, even when you're down.”

She took a moment to breathe and reflect on that. She was more annoyed than she should have been, considering he was just trying to help.

“Ok. Let me take a moment. What was the next point.”

“I was serious about the letters, I think when we’re agitated it will prove a good distraction.”

“I don’t know Ren…”

“Hey we can at least try?”

She looked at him through the camera to see him attempting a pout. She laughed, damn she could never say no to that charming face.

“Ok, who should go first?”

“Well, no point in waiting, lets both start writing, and see who gets it first.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


About a week later, she got a text from Ren. It was a picture of a letter with a stamp. 

_ Damn that was quick, he must have started first thing after I left. I’ve barely got an opening line. _

“Oh and one more thing,” Ren’s text said “Call me when you receive it, I want you to open it in a certain place.”

  
  
  


And later that week.

  
  


“So I got a letter in the post today, with a familiar return address.”

“Oh really? How  _ is _ Sae doing?”

“Shut up Ren.” She laughed, “You know who it’s from.”

They paused.

“Go on, open it!”

“You said there was a specific place!”

“Yeah, in front of me, so i could watch your reaction.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

“Hey am I not good enough?”

“No, I just thought it’d be something more romantic, like under a tree in the spring, or at a park bench.”

“Well that was considered, but you called me later than i expected so your room will have to do.”

“Well, at least let me make it more romantic.”

He gave her a confused look. “Er, OK.”

She turned around from the phone at her desk. Looking around there wasn't much she could do, so she moved some clothes from her bed, straightened the sheets, and sat back down.

He laughed as she picked up the letter again. “I can feel the love in the air.”

“Oh shush you, we should have bought candles.”

“Well that's a good idea for next time, but for now I think you should just read it.”

And with that, she finally opened it.

  
  
  


_ Makoto, _

_ I hope this finds you well, _

Makoto looks at Ren through the camera.

He raises his eyebrows, “Well, does it?” He asks.

She laughs. “It has found me much better then before it arrived.”

He smiles, “Go on, I won’t distract you from the rest.”

  
  


_ In all honesty, I started this idea just to help you, I really have no idea how to do this, but seeing you so depressed in those few weeks hurt me too much and I felt helpless. So when you reacted to my idea I knew I had to run with it. In reality, I haven’t the faintest idea how to write a love letter, so I’m just going to talk about what I love, you. _

_ I’d love to say it was love at first sight, but truly the first moment I felt something, was the day we went to the arcade, a few days after your awakening. Seeing you, the real you, getting so excited to play a game with a friend, was one of the most precious memories of my life, in a year where I made so many. _

_ So from that moment onwards, I fell further and further in love. Until it all came out on that fateful evening at crossroads. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more happy in my life when you said you felt the same way.  _

_ So, while the moments you’re away hurt a lot. Nothing can compare to the highs we have, so in moments like this when I’m feeling down, I just remember that dingy old bar, and smile. _

_ Love _

_ Ren _

She finished reading, and looked up at him. He had stayed quiet, and was nervously waiting for her reaction. 

“I’ve never been the best at expressing my emotions.” He said. “But one thing I do know a lot about is loving you. So i just wrote about that for the first one.”

“First?” She was surprised “You’ve got more planned?”

“I’ve got plans to do them, but I’m waiting for your one first.”

Makoto looked at the draft in her notebook, and cringed internally.

_ Ren _

_ When I see you I feel so loved _

Several scribbled out lines

_ I miss you so much _

A few more erased sentences

_ Forever yours _

_ Makoto _

“Yeah, I think I’m going to need a bit longer.” She said, closing the book.

Surprisingly, he smiled. “Take your time, the point was to keep you distracted, I wanted to have a back and forth dynamic, ending with me sweeping you off your feet with the last one in person.”

“How romantic.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Sojiro?”

“No, Rom-coms with mom.”

  
  


3 weeks later

Makoto screwed up her 3rd sheet of paper that night. This was harder than she thought. 

_ I should have asked Ren what Rom-coms he watched. _

This was her first night free from work in weeks, and while her other classmates had decided to meet up for drinks, or study some more, she had done all her work for this week early, so that she could set herself a weekend to have a good crack at this letter.

She racked her brain once more to try and work out how to write this letter. She had an aim, write about her first feeling of love with Ren. But it just wasn’t coming to her how to do it. She wasn’t particularly well versed in love language.

But maybe that was it, if she couldn’t write it in a love language, then she would just have to do it in her own way. No silly metaphors or ridiculous claims. Just explain what happened, and how. Her feelings would speak for themselves how she felt about him.

And so, finally with a clear path, she got to work.

  
  
  


_ Ren _

_ I hope you don’t think I’m stealing your idea, but yours filled me with such love that I had to do my own. And in all honesty, my first draft was terrible, so I’m using yours as a guide. _

_ When it comes to love, I can’t be as sure as you as to when I first felt our spark. It was more a gradual thing for me over time. But I can tell you the exact moment I realised I was head over heels for you, down to the second. _

_ I’d been nervously pacing around my hotel room for an hour, wondering whether to text you, and what to text you if I did. I was never this nervous about anything; no test, no doctor's appointment, not even dark stormy nights had me this worried about your reaction. _

_ It should have been a simple thing right. “Hey, you free for a couple of hours?” That's what I should have written. A simple line between friends. But I no longer saw you just as a friend, even if I hadn’t yet realised it yet. _

_ So there I sat on my bed. And on the chair in the room. And stood up by the window. I must have paced around that room enough to leave a track as I typed out those three messages. You know I can still recall them, word for word, 18 months later? If I realised how much they would mean to me now back then, they might never have been sent. _

_ I was desperate to write ‘I’d love to go for a walk on the beach with you.’ you know? But I think that would have killed me there and then if you had said no to that. So I omitted the last two words in the hope you wouldn’t see too far into if you weren’t interested, and way too far if you were. _

_ But once again, you calmed my worries, perhaps a little too quickly, as I immediately typed out my thoughts and sent them back to you, the one’s about what I should wear. God Ren that might be the stupidest thing I’ve typed. I hope you saw it then as you do now, a blunder from a girl with a huge crush and not an oversharing problem. _

_ After I left the room, I was sure you wouldn’t turn up, even though I kept looking at your confirmation text to be sure I wasn’t hallucinating. When you arrived, I had been waiting for a while, but probably because I’d left the minute I’d got your text.  _

_ My anxiety at that moment was hitting levels I'd never felt before. I even considered texting you that I was ill, because I certainly felt like I was. But I prevailed and thank god I did Ren. Because the happiness I felt when I saw you and your smile for seeing me, that may have been the highest high of my life. _

_ We did nothing for a while, and it may have been the closest I’d felt to normal that year. Just a high school girl hanging out with her crush, taking their time. As much as I love our friends, I can’t feel normal around them, simply from how we all came together, it makes us all abnormal. But with you, we can be just like any other madly in love couple. I guess that moment was our first time like that. _

_ So there we were on the bench, watching that amazing sunset. Ren I never wanted that moment to end. Time was being so so cruel, and the rational part of my head was nagging that we had to leave, So I suggested we go, and it was hurting me that I nearly ended it like that. _

_ But you said those words that I’ll also never forget. ‘Just a little longer.’  _

_ Ren, it was right there, I felt so loved, and I was so happy. It was a simple request by you, spend a little longer watching the sunset. But to me, that was the exact moment when I realised it was no longer a crush, that I did indeed have much stronger feelings. _

_ So there we were, finally holding hands, watching the sunset after an amazing evening. And I finally realised that I loved you. _

_ Not long after this, we helped Eiko, ran to an old dingy bar, and you finally asked me out. I knew my answer was going to be yes, and I even had an inkling you liked me back, but hearing you say the words ‘I’ll be your study partner’ threw me off. That was a cruel trick Ren. Anything along the lines of ‘Makoto, will you go out sometime with me’ I could have handled. But you just had to one up me again by speaking my language. _

_ You haven’t stopped since. _

_ Love _

_ Makoto _

  
  


“So, how is it?”

It was 2 weeks later, and they were once again calling late at night. But this time it was because Ren had been called into Leblanc to help Sojiro out, and he couldn’t get away with saying no to read a letter from his girlfriend.

Not that Ren cared for the time nor place at that moment.

“Makoto… this is perfect.” He said as he held the letter closer to his chest for comfort, at that moment, he felt like it was him being closer to her. “That was one of the most heartfelt things I’ve ever read. I could picture the moments as if they were happening now.”

Relief and love washed over Makoto.

“Really? I mean, I put my heart into it but sometimes I felt like I was rushing to finish.”

“No I really mean it, I love how you described it all. It read like itt was full of love.”

“Oh thank god.”

“I’ve no idea how I’m going to top that now.”

  
  
  
  


The next month

  
  
  
  


_ Makoto _

_ Firstly I want to say how wonderful your last letter was. I hope you felt as much joy writing it as I did reading it. It brought back so many wonderful memories of the good old times. Phantom thieving by night, helplessly in love by day, what a wild past we had. _

_ So with that, do you ever think about the future? _

_ Or more specifically, our future? _

_ Because as the months have gone on, even when we’re far apart, I find myself saying the latter more and more. _

_ It’s not my future, it’s our future I plan for. _

_ Our house, our jobs, our family. _

_ I hope you do the same, but I understand if you don’t. It’s a hard concept to come to terms with. The future is itself scary, committing what little time we have to one person, no matter how much you love them, is not a decision to be taken lightly. _

_ With all the uncertainty in our lives, you’d think contemplating about our future would worry me further. But I’ve actually come to find it oddly relaxing. Imagining us being happy in a multitude of different scenarios makes me think we can overcome any problem. So I’m going to completely self indulge myself for this letter, and talk about my few favourite future memories I had. _

_ My first, like all of these, are dreams I’ve only thought about once or twice, I think if I went back over them any more times, I might start poking holes in the fantasy until it becomes “more” realistic. But this is a completely hopeful dream, why the hell do I have to stick to reality. _

  
  


_ We have an apartment in Tokyo (Shocking I know), where it’s close enough to both our jobs for it to be convenient, as well as being spacious enough for us to be comfortable. Despite long hours with both our jobs, we have enough time with each other to talk over dinner, TV, and the inevitable work we bring home, over the weekend plans. Which friends and family we’re meeting up with to take trips with, meet at weddings and christenings, or as simply to hang out. _

_ You talk to me about the daily challenges of being a cop and trying to change the system from the inside, about how the changing landscape is allowing you to have your voice heard about the societal problems we face and how to solve them, when even a few years back you’d have been shushed and silenced even for mentioning them. And how hopeful this is making you. _

_ I talk to you about how knowing Old man Tora did little to help me after getting me the initial job, as his name still carries some stigma. But my ideas show that his recommendation was well earned. Particularly my ideas to reform rehabilitation of minors who have committed crimes prove to be a big hit, and our test trials do even more to boost my name, as the teens trialled start to excel in environments where they’re not acted as if it is their last chance, freeing them from the stress and pain that one feels, if they went through that situation.  _

_ Although we don’t admit it to each other, we love hearing the other ramble on and on about their success. Hearing them talk about their passion, we both say to other friends, is one of our greatest chores. _

_ Is it too early for children? We both think. We’re at the start of our careers, surely we can’t be stopping all of the momentum we’re gathering right now? I don’t actually have the end of this dream yet, mostly because I’m not sure when the best time for kids will be, maybe even never? But I’m sure, whatever time we choose, we will handle it. _

  
  
  


_ The next one’s shorter, but I sometimes wonder that if I do get an influential job in government, and you rise up the ranks through the police force, will our jobs ever meet? _

_ Will one day, a representative of the police force meet with a government legislator about his new proposal for a scheme to help disadvantaged kids? And with a roll of your eyes, you walk into my office, trying to remain as unbiased as possible as you’re forced to hear me gush about my new plan. _

_ Imagine there being a press conference about the conclusion of an investigation between the police and some insiders in the government on corruption, and our friends tune in to see us smirking towards the cameras, having done a bit of phantom thief investigating just like old times. _

_ Or what about even further? The head of the police force, and a high government official, comparing notes about ways to help the unfortunate through each other's various schemes, before she asks him to remember to pick up some fish on his way home. _

  
  
  


_ For the last one, I need to say that I lied about what I said earlier, I have this one wish that comes back to me again and again. It is by far my favourite, you’ll understand completely why. _

_ Out in the countryside, in a cosy little town, barely with a few hundred people, there lies a tiny little cafe. Run by a cute old couple with occasional help from their kids, it’s the favourite eatery of many for miles around. And with the wife's cooking and the husband's coffee, how could it not be?  _

_ But there’s something strange about this cafe. Residents around the area swear that more kids go for a drink that can fit into the rather small seating area, and since when were kids interested in going to a cafe with their friends. _

_ But unbeknownst to the adults, that cafe has an upstairs that’s more than just a storage room. Up on the 2nd floor, there's a few more tables and chairs, but eating is strictly forbidden, as this table is used to study, or for the kids to read a book from the personally picked bookshelves , or to have a talk with the owners about any problems that they’re facing in their young life.  _

_ And the owners are happy to help, having had a messy life himself the husband has a lot of advice on how to navigate the choppy seas of adolescence. The wife herself helps out with studying, but her best advice comes from finding a path out in life. The two of them together can sort out any problem a kid has, so that’s what they do. _

_ And you never know, if we find a cafe big enough, we could even fit in another room. This one would be somewhere for someone to live, maybe someone who needs a roof over their heads for a few nights. Or a delinquent who has run out of options and needs a helping hand.  _

_ If we do, I hope we can call it LeBlanc. _

_ Love _

_ Ren _

  
  
  
  
  


Makoto finished the letter with silent tears running down her face. This one had impacted her more than the others. She knew why, with all her anxieties about her present, Ren reassuring her that all he wanted for the future was to be with her, no matter what the situation was all she wanted. 

She immediately called Ren, and thanked him over and over again.

“Makoto its ok, I'm your boyfriend, I’m supposed to love you like that.”

And She started tearing up again. It took her a bit longer to calm down the next time.

  
  


“Hey Ren, is it ok if there’s a bit of a gap before my next letter? I have a l-”

“Of course” He butted in.

“Wait let me finish! I have a lot of work but I wanted to say I want to write it and I’m not putting it off!”

“Mako, don't worry, take your time. This was all to help you and stopping you from working would have the opposite effect. We’re not sticking to a timeline, and we don’t have a set amount of letters to do, it’s all for fun. As long as you still find it fun?”

“I’m loving it, it feels so romantic, even if the sentences are a bit slow to form sometimes.”

“Hey, that just means they mean more when they are written.”

They ended the call not too long afterwards, with Makoto feeling the best she had in a long time. The next one might have to wait a bit, to have as much an impact as that one did.

  
  
  
  
  


Makoto walked home from her last lecture of the day on a cold and crisp evening of November. Wrapped up in her signature blue coat, she said bye to one of her classmates who lived nearby, and continued walking. The area she was in was not unlike a park, except for one side of the pathway was lined with shops that would attend to any of the students' needs.

She passed one in particular that caught her eye. A coffee shop that she had been to a few times, to study or read in peace while trying to trick her senses into thinking she was back at Leblanc, and while that hadn’t worked it still had a lovely atmosphere.

But today it was something else that caught her eye, the two baristas working that day. A tallish boy, and a shorter girl, both looked a little older than her, maybe their mid to late twenties. She didn’t recognise them from her past visits, but it wasn’t their looks that had caught her attention. Their fluid motions of working together, and the emotions they were showing each other as they did so. No it was something about them being together that had Makotos eye.

After leaving with a small coffee to go, Makoto wrote something down in one of her notebooks, on a particular section that was a fair few pages long labelled Letter Ideas.

Smiling to herself, she continued home.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Ren _

_ It feels like I've always been waiting for you, from the day we met. _

_ Waiting for you to reveal you were the Phantom thieves, then I was waiting for you to save me from Kaneshiro, then I was waiting for one of us to express our feelings to the other. Then you went to Juvie, and I had to wait again, then you went away, and now I've gone away. It's an unending cycle of unwinnable battles against time. _

_ But the worst waiting was in Sae’s palace, or just afterwards. You were to be captured, and while we were to go into hiding and wait once again. Only this time, whether the plan worked or not, we were to wait for the news that you had been killed. No matter what, I was waiting for the worst words I could possibly hear. _

_ And I had no one, Ren. All our friends were to act normally and blend in, and everyone had kept their word. But that also included our relationship, with Akech not knowing about us.  _

_ So for 2 days, I had nothing and no one to keep me company but my own thoughts. If you’ve ever wondered why I’m so anxious about our relationship, that might be a good place to start. _

_ I drifted through classes and work like a ghost those days. Nothing was done, and little was remembered, except when the news came in, which even now I can't recall without tearing up. Outside the faculty office, getting the news on my phone, tears in my eyes. That moment where I lost you. _

_ It took another twelve hours before I heard from Sae. If before I had only silently cried, I full on screamed with joy at this news. You were ok, I was done waiting, but not done crying. And I got to see you once before the others arrived.  _

_ Oh Ren, I felt so guilty at that moment. Here I’d been worrying like a child, internally blaming you for putting me through this, and then you show up covered in bruises and cuts and looking worse than anything we’d gone through before. I know I was supposed to be helping you at that moment, but as I’m sure you know, your reassurances kept me from breaking down. As I cleaned the cuts you asked how I’d been. And as I reapplied the bandages you apologised to me. You were in incredible pain yet you saw the hurt I had been through. That may have been a low point for your physical health, but after that day I don’t think our relationship has ever been stronger. _

_ So compared to that, the wait for you in Jail was nothing, because I knew we could get you out of that one. You had built the team up to be your support that at that moment I was sure you could do anything. Those 2 months were nothing compared to those 2 days in November.  _

_ And with that, I thought I was done waiting. But you went away again to your home. And then at the start of this year I thought we were done again. Yet here we are. Waiting waiting waiting. _

_ So I think this time I’m finally coming to terms with keeping our relationship healthy at long distances. The biggest difference from before is, to me, it always felt like we were just keeping things going until we restarted it the next time we met up. So no more of that. If I can love you when I’m sat next to you, I can love you when I’m a hundred miles away, and a thousand if we have to.  _

_ But enough of that, your last letter gave me an idea to end this one on a brighter note. _

_ So what are my hopes for the future? _

_ Well, I do like the idea of a coffee shop. But I have to say my dreams are a lot simpler than that. _

_ There’s no real setting or story to mine, it might even just be Leblanc because it’s a place I’m familiar with, or the university has a coffee place I’ve been to a few times so maybe part of it comes from that. _

_ But the actual events that take place are simply me and you working together. Our motions are fluid, acting as one when we make food. Seamlessly passing jobs to one another. Almost like we’re sharing one train of thought (Which we are, given it’s in my dreams). There’s no beginning or end to this one, it’s more of a feeling in a moment. The two of us, working perfectly together. At a place we’ve spent more time together than anywhere else. _

_ But my favourite dream is even more realistic than a couple working together in a shop. _

_ I imagine a saturday morning, at any time of the year, but a light rain sounds against the windows of our bedroom. We both ignore that completely, as a high ranking police commissioner in training, and a politician for the in power government, we rarely get time to relax. So we’re making the most of it by not doing anything of course.  _

_ At some point, we’re awoken by the kids for breakfast. I don’t know how many I want, but my dreams flicker between one or two. I’ve always wanted a boy, I guess because I didn’t have a brother. On this occasion hes crawling in bed, trying to wake us up. You pity me, pick him up and take him to the kitchen, promising breakfast and his mum, when she’s up in a few more minutes. _

_ Honestly, whenever I wake from that dream, I smile. It’s so simple that there’s no way we can’t make it happen. _

_ But whatever life throws at us from now on. _

_ I'll be waiting. x _

_ Makoto _

  
Ren sat in a Leblanc booth, reading this to himself, with nothing bit a coffee to disturb him.  
  
  
He smiled. _I'm waiting to._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ This was it. _

_ 6 months had come and gone. _

_ Time had slowed to an unbearable pace near the end. _

_ Yet here I am.  _ He thought

_ The first place I’d ever been to in Tokyo. _

“Train traveling to  Kichijoji on platform 5A.” Came an announcement in the background,  _ Not important. _

Neither was the crowd that moved around him like he wasn’t there, as he leant against the wall, clutching the single item in his hands. One more letter.

_ Any minute now… _

  
  
  
  


_ Ren _

_ I’m writing each part of this letter when I have something important to say. My plan is to give it to you when we’re back together. You had your idea about letters to keep our minds occupied, this is my tweaked version. _

_ This day marks 2 years since I asked you to join me for a walk in Hawaii. I cried a lot today, even after I called you.  _

_ I’m writing this on christmas eve. It was supposed to be our first together, I hope it’s our last apart. _

_ Merry Christmas _

_ I’m writing this part on the train back. I don’t know why I had something to say that couldn’t wait an hour, but here I am. _

_ Really I’m only writing to calm my anxieties. Like how will you react to seeing me, after I choose to move away? Will this affect our relationship going forward? What if I now make more choices that keep us together more because of this ordeal, even if that is the wrong choice? _

_ Yes I still have these worries, I don’t think they’ll ever go away. Even in 60 years when we’re old and wrinkly together I’ll probably still worry if we’re happy. _

_ But is worry such ~~~~~ _

  
  
  


And that was where she had gotten to. This letter was not going to Ren on first sight, or maybe at all. She was writing this one to Ren, but it was for herself. And halfway through the last few paragraphs, she realised she no longer needed to write anything. 

She had no anxiety, no sadness, and definitely no fear. All the reasons to start writing the letters in the first place were no longer there. They had worked, and now were no longer needed. So after 5 more minutes of thinking, she put her pen down. And another one later, she put the unfinished letter away in her bag, and moved her thoughts onwards.

_ This is it.  _

_ I’m back. After way too long. _

_ I can see Ren, and Sis, and all my friends again.  _ She thought.

She was staring out the window of the train as the countryside rolled past. She knew she’d come through a different route, but she wondered if this was how Ren had felt on his first journey to Tokyo, waiting for what was to come.

One key difference, he was probably terrified of the unknown, while she was the exact opposite. She knew exactly what, or really who, was waiting at the platform.

Considering how slow these past months had felt, this journey was flying by. 2 hours turned to 1, turned to 30 minutes, turned to 5. 

Until, finally, she heard the words she’d been dreaming to hear for so very long.

“Shibuya, this is Shibuya.”

  
  
  
  
  


She saw him first, but he was quick to meet her eyes.

Makoto ran into Ren’s arms, heavy backpack and all. It took most of his strength to keep them upright. As he stumbled backwards, he struggled to both stay standing, and mirror the kisses he was receiving from her.

“I... missed... you... so... much…” She gasped in between kisses. 

When she finally stopped, he gave her the biggest hug he could “Me too, Mako, me too.”

“Those 6 months felt like forever.” She mumbled into his shoulder.

“Nah couldn't be forever, I had one more letter to give to you.” He said, finally pulling away.

“You have another?”

“Yeah, and I think it's my best one yet.” 

And as they broke apart he handed her his gift. Which she ripped open, nearly tearing the thing in half.

  
  
  


_ Makoto, _

_ I’ll promise to never leave again if you do. _

_ Ren _

  
  


And as they embraced once more, she leaned into his ear.

“Ren, stay with me.”

“I will, I promise.”

And so they did.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Ren, you can let go now.”

“Oh I wasn't kidding, you’re never leaving my arms.”

“Ren!”

“We’re driving home like this too.”

  
  


END

  
  
  



End file.
